Quandary #1

I’m enjoying first draft work on Midnight Bites. My long list of known fixes (names, timelines, locations) continues to grow, but now, the details of the plot align and make sense. It’s kind of like discovering a complete story that’s been playing peek-a-boo with me. 

The opening scenes for chapter one are set, but now I have a quandary. Which one should start the book? Both scenes introduce two different events and characters. However, I’m not sure which one is the most enticing. Which one would tempt you to turn the page of this dark, speculative fiction novel? 

First scene paragraph #1:

Maria ran until her lungs burned and legs trembled. Fatigue slapped her in the face. She wobbled, slipping until her hands grabbed the coarse wood of a lamp pole melding into its darkness. She filled her lungs with deep, quick breaths. Fear trickled down her back. The monster killed her brother. Louis would never have left on his own. Now it wants her. 

She leaned her forehead into the pole as burning embers flowed down her cheeks from her eyes. So tired.

First scene paragraph #2:

The black bag hit with a squish and thunk. Luna gagged as the stink of stale coffee, moldy bread, dirt, spit, and whatever other putrid crap lived in dumpsters wafted over the edge and covered her like a sigh. She turned to face the back of her family’s cafe; she stopped. Her foot squished on something. “I hate this job,” she said, looking at the gray muck oozing around the edges of her new sneakers. “I just bought these.”

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4 thoughts on “Quandary #1”

  1. Definitely the second one. It feels less typical, yet is something I can relate to in my daily life, WHILE introducing the character and worlds. I think it does more for the amount of words there are. Amazing stuff!

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