I’ve had reason to pause and reflect since my last entry here in October. After years of battling cancer, my father succumbed to its side effects. When he first went to the hospital in October, I kept with my regular writing scheduled, but as time went on and his condition deteriorated, I let my schedule fall to the wayside.
I’m sorry I missed you, but I’m not sorry I took time off. These days of mourning and remembrance have allowed me to reflect, ponder, and wonder at the world and those whose lives we touch and in return touch. This past weekend, my family welcomed a beautiful day to gather, embrace, and remember my father as we scattered his ashes at the church he was so involved in.
Funerals should always be on sunny days. Yes, there were tears, but the sun on my face and the breeze in my hair reminded me of the joy I shared all these years with my father, always smiling. Standing in the garden before the memorial stone, smiling is how I saw him. Tears that fell were joyous tears. The smiles continue to grow.
We’ve all welcomed in the New Year, and there will always be a place in my heart that imagines my father near. I put away the mourning and shift back to the living. I look forward to talking, writing, and imagining with all of you again.